Poop , Puke and Pervs

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Interesting title right? As you read it will make more sense ha ha

This is probably going to be a brief post. Did not have time to post yesterday, when we got home at 1:30 in the morning I was just too tired. Today I think ia m just too lazy, we are kinda having a lazy day.  I am not going into details of who and what. But last night we had BWW for dinner, and it is the only thing we had in common, and lets just say a lot of poop and barf was going on today. As most of you know I am a pretty blunt person so I will admit i was one of the poopers today……… It started as I was walking back from Starbucks this morning, I  needed to be in a bathroom. Any bathroom. My stomach started cramping, and I felt slightly dizzy, and I began sweating. And, naturally, I started walking as if I’d been f**** by a football team—cheeks clenched, slightly bow-legged, short stride. My body was clearly telling me, “Dude, you’re not gonna make it home.” So I continued on, walking like an action figure, until I almost—but not quite—dropped an entire load into my pants. We got stopped at a red light and couldnt cross the street, so I stood there—cheeks even more tightly clenched—for about 30 seconds waiting for the movement to (not) pass. I got home, ran to the bathroom and closed the door behind me, dropped my pants and (I know, this is gross, I’m sorry, but it’s a poop story and so it needs an ending) let loose. Didn’t even wait for skin to touch porcelain, which it eventually did once the pressured force from my poop weakened. I was in there so long you would think I decided to recreate the Manhattan project! One of the gals texts me to inform me she had to puke, so i tried best as i could to hurry. When I was done, about 10 minutes and several awkward sounds later, did what one does, and opened the door. There was no one there…..And I was mildly disappointed because I had hoped to open the door and hear applause after all that! what can i say, pooping is an inconvenient, sometimes unpredictable thing, So we have been home today kicking it…. we may go out later and see the 9/11 memorial if everyone is up to it. I am feeling fine now, after a visit to the pot a few times. I don’t think i will be eating any BWW anytime soon though!

So since i didnt write yesterday, let catch you up to speed on what we been up too. Yesterday Sam (Melissa cousins) had to work, so Melissa, Traci with a “i” and not ie….. went out and ventured on our own, but we decided to get me a metro pass first…. since i am considered “disabled” and I get 50% off the trains…..  which will save us tons of money while we are here.  but what a pain in the butt!! We went to the metro station near where we are, asked them how to get to the office we needed to go to to get the card, they told us just two stops away. WRONG! Got off and they said, it was at the pentagon stop…….. WRONG! got off there and they tell us to go to Gallery stop. PAH!!! (finally in ASL) that was the correct stop. I was quite pissed, especially since we wasted money getting to the stops and they told us the wrong ones! I was signing like a mad woman (ask Mark he will tell you how much better i sign when Ia m pissed off ha ha) and Melissa was interpreting for me. the lady just kept saying ” its a new program the employees do not know about it, you can go online and find out all the information” Ummmm thats not my point, I knew all the information, I already went online. the point was I asked where their main office was and even had the address and they told us wrong several times, and we wasted money! I wanted them to give Melissa and Traci a free pass for one way or something. I was so mad, we are unfamiliar with the metro here, it was our first time, those people are here to help us! they were extremely nice , I give them that. but they still gave us wrong information! By then i was hot, tired and hungry, so I totally went off on the woman. It was probably a good thing I was signing, otherwise people in the other room would have heard me I am sure! ha ha I don’t lose my patience often, but Melissa and I are living on a few dimes this weekend, until payday next week, and that will not even be much! Every penny counts, I was mad to waste some!

After all that we calmed down and relaxed and went off to explore. We saw a lot of downtown distric, Saw the utside of Ford theater where Lincoln was killed, and across the street the house he died in. We did not go in because the line was so long and we were to meet Sam shortly after she got off work.  We were walking down the street at one point and this guy looks at Melissa’s and my boobs. then he said “Mmmmm just delicious!” Ha ha ha that defiantly applies to Melissa but I belong int he itty bitty titty committee ha ha Though my friend Victoria does make them look nicer and the dress I had on lol We walked by so many beautiful buildings I cant even remember them all, St Patrick church was another and it was just GORGEOUS!!!

We finally met Sam and got some cheap McDonald burgers to eat, the place inside smelt SO bad!! I am not saying that to be mean, it just is a fact. I am sure it is one of the few places the so many homeless people can afford to eat. It was pretty packed with them. You see them everywhere int he street here, reminds me a little of L.A. skid row. in some areas. It is a wake up call to some of the problems we have for sure! Very sad. After we got our food we went to see if there was anywhere to sit down, there was this little coffee cart that had a few open tables, but for customers only. so we bought a macaroon, the cheapest thing on the menu. I did not see the macaroon until after we were done eating, it was so friggin small i never noticed it! i kid you not, I could not believe it cost a buck seventy five! it was the size of a quarter! and it tasted like poop! Oh well was worth it to sit at a table in the shade!

We then went to explore “The Mall” not shopping mall all you shopaholics! THE Mall! It was beautiful! OMGosh! so much to see, obviously we will be returning to it over and over, this was just a quick walk through and that took several hours! We only hit the side the Capital building is on, we need to do the other side where the monument is, not to mention we did not go inside anything either yet. But we will!! Melissa suggested Traci and I roll down the Capital hill, so we did just that! Like over excited little children!! I felt like I was flying and going 100mph! and in my mind I WAS!!! Normally, all the parts of your body are pushing on each other because of the constant force of gravity. But in the “free-fall” state of plummeting down a hill, there is hardly any net force acting on you. In this case, the various pieces of your body are not pushing on each other as much. They are all, essentially, weightless, each falling individually inside your body. This is what gives you that unique sinking feeling in your stomach — your stomach is suddenly very light because there is less force pushing on it. The same thing happens when you drive down a dip in the road in your car or descend in an elevator moving at high speed. I LOVE THAT FEELING and hate it at the same time! lol

We took tons of pictures, I will post them to my Facebook later. It was Sad, Senator Baker passed away, so all the flags are at hald mass, which you can plainly see in the pictures. RIP Senator! After several hours and pictures, we walk back to the subway and head home. while we were about to embark onto a train, this guy looks at all four of us with these creepy ” I am undressing you with my eyes look” and he says something like “Mmmm hmmm yeah, boy do I want to hang out with you guys later!” That is not an exact quote, because obviously i did not hear him, but Traci with a “i” and not ie told me! Then we hop on the train, and there are these two guys who totally circle Miss Traci with a i and not ie and talk her head of ……… they were not really pervs or anything, just drooling the whole time! (This is common, they flock to our little golden girl!! )

Got home and head to Buffalo Wild Wings, ate and cracked up at telling each other stories of our experiences and so on. We have literally been cracking up all weekend! such good company!! We then went to chase fireflies and try to catch them after, for a good hour or so. With no success! Maybe tonight 🙂

That is the gist of it so far. We are off to go see the Pentagon and 9/11 memorial soon. I will write again soon! thanks for reading…..peace

 

 

 

 

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