Blank, Broken, Empty, Numb……Healing

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Daily Challenge Word of the Day: “Blank”

 

My initial gut reaction was to just leave this space, well …. “Blank”!

Then I started thinking about how blank I have been feeling inside. I recently been going through a break up with my long term boyfriend, who is also my best friend. There no words for how I feel inside, except “blank”. I am on auto pilot right now, going through the motions, hoping the empty spaces slowly fill back up. They will! I am sure of it! I think they already are. The pain is less every day. I have had some new people come into my life who are slowly helping me forget. Not to mention all the wonderful people already are in it. Forget the pain, never him or the memories. They are amazing and even IF it is over for good I will always be happy they happened. We had some of the best adventures together! I will hold onto those forever as I continue on my new journey and fill the blank space in my heart once again.  By the way……This is the first time I have talked or posted publicly about it. So I must be healing……..

 

Just a poem I wrote. Not a total reflection of how I feel now, but yes how I felt…….

 

To Live Again

 

Once we were lovers

Lost in our dreams

Not even using our names

Just dreaming about each other

Tears in my eyes

From the tears that I’ve cried

A never ending cycle

from the loneliness of mine

I hurt you badly,

cut you deep

I hurt me too,

our tears both seep

Why do I only see what I want

when it’s gone?

My dear,

this mess has all gone terribly wrong!

It’s wounded too much,

to go on living

Now you’re not here

my head is spinning

I cannot love

My heart is tainted

By the picture of love

You have painted

Can’t you see

you’re needed by my side

Without you

I’m tossed into the ocean

with my hands tightly tied

Now nothing pumps

but the empty blood in my veins

And nothing, no drug,

can cover these awful pains

I hate the fact, That I cry,

I hate the fact,

That inside I slowly die,

I want to feel my blood pumping again

I want us to be where we were back then.

 

 

R.I.P.

MTcollage

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