Perfectly You….


Perfect is a trap. What does it even look like? The picture of a happy family on the cover of a magazine, a flawless woman, a dream home. I call bullshit on the whole thing. We are perfectly perfect in our imperfect perfection. You are exactly how and who you were meant to be. Don’t let the word or idea scare you.

Be perfectly you.

There is no perfect life, but there are perfect moments.

There is perfection to the parts of your life you seem imperfect. Without problems, there would be no solutions. Without a need for more, there would be no inventions. Without wanting, yearning, desiring more, there would be no learning, searching, discovering. Without an openness to create more in our lives, we would never have love partners, make babies, or do anything new. We would be stuck in how perfect it already is. Living in the moment, you can feel the perfection in each moment because it exists, and then we are in another moment. Be present with the perfect in the moment, rather than having to have all the details look perfect or fit a standard.

This is where laughing at how imperfect and lousy a moment is, when someone literally spills milk instead of crying over it, is the perfect moment. It creates giggle fests. The funniest stories are not the “perfect” ones, but rather the messy, silly, I-can’t-that-happened moments. There is joy is not looking for or needing perfect, but finding each moment to be perfect. Take a deep breath. It’s all perfect.

Have a great day all, go out and be perfectly you!





How many of you have ever run out of gas? How many of you have ever prayed that you would be able to make it to the next gas station? We all know what it means to be out of gas, to be out of our own resources and be down to nothing. How many of you have experienced God’s divine provision at just the right time in just the right way?

You got to do your part – in times of trouble it’s always a good idea to pray yourself and get other people to pray with you. It’s also important to read God’s word and have faith that God will intervene. Then it is important to head God’s word and do what it says to do!

When your heart is anchored to the heart of God you will withstand all the storms of life, and there will be storms! Because WHEN YOU’RE DOWN TO NOTHING, GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING!

Joseph was down to nothing – He lost his freedom and was sold into slavery – wrongfully accused of rape and thrown into jail. He was at the bottom of the barrel – innocent, yet in jail in a foreign country. If that had happened to us, we would be so mad that we would bubble up like a bad paint job. God was up to something in Joshph’s life. He blessed Joseph even in prison so that all that whatever he did prospered and soon the warden of the prison put Joseph in charge of the prison. God gave Joseph the gift of dream interpretation and he interpreted the dreams of the Baker and the Cupbearer and when the Pharo needed an interpretation to his troubling dream Joseph delivered and Pharo promoted him to the 2nd highest position in the land to manage Egypt’s vast agricultural resources. Joseph stored grain and allocated it in such a way as to prepare for survival during a seven year famine. Meanwhile…
Jacob (Joseph’s father) was down to nothing. Jacob’s other sons lied to him and told him that Joseph (the son he loved the most) was dead and some eight or so years later along with the grief over Joseph’s supposed death came a severe famine that threatened to starve and kill the rest of his family. Jacob was down to nothing, but God was up to something. ReadGenesis 45:4-7 WHEN YOU’RE DOWN TO NOTHIN, GOD IS UP TO SOMETHIN

Job – lost everything – his livestock, his wealth, his children – he lost everything but his wife. He was down to nothing, sitting on a dung heap with oozing sores all over his body. But, God was up to something. God faith in Job and Job’s faith in God defeated Satan in a classic spiritual battle. The result? God restored double-fold what Job lost. (Read Job 42:10ff to end) WHEN YOU’RE DOWN TO NOTHING, GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING

Gideon was down to nothing – he had lost his confidence. The Midianite hord had ravished the land like locusts. Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress – hiding from the Midianites. He had reached the bottom of the barrel – he was down to nothing. It was at this point that God met him and directed him to deliver Israel. With only 100 men he defeated the Midianite horde and freed the land of the Midianite pestilence. WHEN YOU’RE DOWN TO NOTHING, GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING

David was down to nothing – He lost his rights when King Saul branded him an outlaw – he had to flee the country and live among the Philistines. He was a fugitive, at the bottom of the barrel. But God was up to something. King Saul was killed in a battle and David was established as king of Israel. WHEN YOU’RE DOWN TO NOTHING, GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING

Hezekiah King of Judah was down to nothing when he found himself surrounded by the army of Sennacherib, King of Assyria. Sennachherib demanded surrender and reminded King Hezekiah that he had already concord and sacked many cities killing the leaders and dragging everyone else off into slavery. The gods of these cities couldn’t save them, so what makes you think Yahweh can save Jerusalem? Hezekiah tore his clothes and put on sackcloth. He was at the bottom of the barrel, but God was up to something. The prophet Isaiah prophesied Sennacherib’s doom and sure enough that night the angel of the Lord went out and put to death 185,000 of Sennacherib’s troops. So Sennacherib broke camp and hightailed it back to Assyria and stayed there until two of his sons assassinated him. WHEN YOU’RE DOWN TO NOTHING, GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING

In 2 Kings 4 we find a prophet’s widow down to nothing. When her husband died he left behind a debt. The woman came to Elisha and told him that her husband’s creditor was coming to take her two boys to sell into slavery to satisfy the debt. She was in despair, she was at the bottom of the barrel, she was a mom horrified at the thought of losing her boys. But God was up to something. Elisha asked her, “What do you have in your house?” She literally had nothing but a little oil. So Elisha told her to go to her neighbors and collect all the empty containers she could get her hands on and then bring them into her house and begin pouring out the oil into them. She obeyed and from one small vessel of oil she filled all the pots in the house and was able to sell the oil to pay off the debt and have enough money left over to live on. WHEN YOU’RE DOWN TO NOTHING, GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING

Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego were down to nothin when King Nebuchadnezzar condemned them to death in the fiery furnace because they stood up for truth and what was right and refused to bow before a graven image. But God was up to something, because when they were thrown into the furnace they were not harmed! But not only that, in Daniel 3:30 the Bible says that King Nebuchadnezzar promoted them in the province of Babylon. WHEN YOU’RE DOWN TO NOTHING, GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING

Ezekiel was down to nothing – He was a young priest who lost his country to war and was carried into captivity to Babylonia. The temple in Jerusalem had been trashed and he had no place to practice the priesthood. His professional life was over. He was nothing but somebody’s slave now. He was at the bottom of the barrel, but God was up to something. In an instant God reformulated Israel’s theology. He appeared to Ezekiel in a vision in the fiery cloud with 4 living winged creatures whose appearance was like burning coals riding wheels within wheels as the glory of God descended to the earth there beside the Kebar River in Babylon. Above the expanse over their heads was a throne of sapphire and above the throne was the figure of a man glowing with the glory of the Lord. Read Ezekiel 2:1-5
God was not confined to a temple in Jerusalem, God was not confined to the boarders of Israel, God was not confined to the temple ritual, God was much more – much bigger – much holier – much more awesome than the children of Israel could imagine. God was on the thrown, and His thrown is over all the earth and He can not be confined to a box or a room in a temple. God is sovereign, omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. He hasn’t abandoned his people in a foreign land, instead, He is present with them and through Ezekiel provided a prophet to lead them in their time of captivity.

Peter was down to nothin after he denied Christ 3 times. He was a miserable failure. He was at the bottom of the barrel. But God was up to somethin. Jesus met Peter on the shoreline of Lake Galilee and restored Peter’s confidence, restored Peter’s faith and restored Peter’s position in the Kingdom. The result, on the Day of Pentecost Peter got up and delivered a powerful sermon then sat down without even giving an altar call. People were convicted on the spot and asked what they must do to be saved. That day 3,000 new believers were baptized in water! WHEN YOU’RE DOWN TO NOTHING, GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING

Paul and Silas were severely flogged and thrown into prison for casting out a demonic spirit from a girl. They were down to nothing there in that dark, dank prison. About midnight were praying and singing hymns to God and the other prisoners were listening to them. (Christians, people are observing you under pressure – what do they see?) Suddenly, there was a violent earthquake. The prison doors flew open and the chains fell off all the prisoners. The guard was about to take his life when Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!” As a result, the jailer and all his household became believers and were baptized. WHEN YOU’RE DOWN TO NOTHING, GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING

The Apostle John was down to nothing. He was an old man confined to the prison island of Patmos in Greece. He was a political prisoner, exiled for practicing his faith and leading the Church in Asia Minor. He was effectively stopped from teaching and preaching. This is a difficult spot for a preacher to be in. John was at the bottom of the barrel. But, God was up to something. Jesus Christ appeared appeared to John on the Lord’s day when John was “in the spirit.” The result? The fabulous book of Revelation. The last book in the Bible that has been a comfort and assurance to all Christians throughout the ages. John’s situation looked hopeless, but he was able to influence the Church for all time even from exile. WHEN YOU’RE DOWN TO NOTHING, GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING

Does God still do these kind of miracles for His people?
YES! God is for you 100%!
Here is a modern account of God’s miraculous provision:

A young man had been to Wednesday night Bible Study. The Pastor had shared about listening to God and obeying the Lord’s voice. The young man
couldn’t help but wonder, “Does God still speak to people?” After service he
went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the
message. Several different ones talked about how God had led them in
different ways. It was about ten o’clock when the young man started driving
home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray, “God.. If you still speak
to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey.” As he
drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought, stop
and buy a gallon of milk. He shook his head and said out loud, “God is that
you?” He didn’t get a reply and continued on toward home.

But again, the thought, buy a gallon of milk. The young man thought about
Samuel and how he didn’t recognize the voice of God, and how little Samuel
ran to Eli. “Okay, God, in case that is you, I will buy the milk.”

It didn’t seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the
milk. He stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started off toward
home. As he passed Seventh street, he again felt the urge, “Turn down that
street.” This is crazy he thought and drove on past the intersection.
Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street.

At the next intersection, he turned back and headed down Seventh. Half
jokingly, he said out loud, “Okay, God, I will”. He drove several blocks,
when suddenly, he felt like he should stop. He pulled over to the curb and
looked around. He was in semi-commercial area of town. It wasn’t the best
but it wasn’t the worst of neighborhoods either. The businesses were closed
and most of the houses looked dark like the people were already in bed.

Again, he sensed something, “Go and give the milk to the people in the
house across the street.” The young man looked at the house. It was dark
and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep.
He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat. “Lord,
this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are
going to be mad and I will look stupid.”

Again, he felt like he should go and give the milk. Finally, he opened the
door, “Okay God, if this is You, I will go to the door and I will give them
the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be
obedient. I guess that will count for something but if they don’t answer
right away, I am out of here.”

He walked across the street and rang the bell. He could hear some noise
inside.A man’s voice yelled out, “Who is it? What do you want?”

Then the door opened before the young man could get away. The man was
standing there in his jeans and t-shirt. He looked like he just got out of
bed. He had a strange look on his face and he didn’t seem too happy to
have some stranger standing on his doorstep. “What is it?”

The young man thrust out the gallon of milk, “Here, I brought this to you.”
The man took the milk and rushed down a hallway speaking loudly in Spanish.

Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk toward the kitchen.
The man was following her holding a baby. The baby was crying. The man had
tears streaming down his face. The man began speaking and half crying,
“We were just praying. We had some big bills this month and we ran
out of money. We didn’t have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and
asking God to show me how to get some milk.”

His wife in the kitchen yelled out, “I ask him to send an Angel with some..
Are you an Angel?” The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out
all the money he had on him and put it in the man’s hand. He turned and
walked back toward his car with tears streaming down his face. He
knew firsthand that God still answers prayers.


Many are going through hard times, weathering dark storms in your lives, myself included. have lost almost everything, my job, home, car, several friends and the love of my life….. But I refuse to give up, I refuse to stop believing and smiling. I will get past this storm and find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!  I may be down to nothing, but I know God is up to something!!

Please Join me in prayer 🙂 Stay strong!! Keep the faith!  I love you all!

Lord, you are Holy above all others, and all of the strength that I need is in your hands.

I am not asking, Lord, that you take this trial away. Instead, I simply ask that Your will be done in my life. Whatever that means, that is what I want.

But I admit that it’s hard, Lord.

Sometimes I feel like I can’t go on. The pain and the fear are too much for me, and I know that I don’t have the strength on my own to get through this.

I know that I can come to you, Jesus, and that you will hear my prayer. I know that it is not your intent to bring me to this point just to leave me in the wilderness alone.

Please, Lord, give me the strength that I need to face today. don’t have to worry about tomorrow.

If you just give me the strength that I need today that is all I need.

Keep me from sinning during this trial. Instead, help me to keep my eyes on you. You are the Holy Lord, and all of my hope rests in you.

Dear Lord, I am calling upon you today for your divine guidance and help. I am in crisis and need a supporting hand to keep me on the right and just path.

My heart is troubled but I will strive to keep it set on you, as your infinite wisdom will show me the right way to a just and right resolution. Thank you for hearing my prayer and for staying by my side.



Written for The Daily Post Prompt of the Day: Storm

Five Things



Right this moment, there are many, many things for which you can be thankful. Have you stopped lately to think of them all? Life may often seem difficult, and indeed it is in many ways. Yet for all life’s difficulties, still you have a multitude of blessings, most of which are too often taken for granted.

Think of five things, right now, for which you can be thankful today. Think of five blessings, and you’ll uncover five valuable treasures which can help you to grow, to build, to create, to move your life forward.

Don’t be so busy seeking treasure outside yourself, that you fail to make the most of the treasures you already have. Rather, nurture and appreciate the blessings you have, and they will grow into more abundant blessings.

Success is not something you come upon all of a sudden. It is something which grows outward from inside of you. It is a blessing you already have, which you nurture until it blossoms. Appreciate what you have, as often and as fully as you can. Nurture your blessings, with your focus and your effort, and they’ll grow into all you could ever desire.

Share your five blessing with me if you would like below 🙂  Have a blessed day all!!


~ Tam:)

In response to the Daily Word Prompt :five things (you would take on deserted island) I would take my five things I am thankful for. My Boyfriend(well ex right now ha ha) , my daughter, my son, my dog and my swiss army knife ha ha

Life is a Circus and You’re in Every Act




Do you ever feel like you are a clown juggling too many things at once, spinning too many plates? Maybe at times you feel like you are walking a tight rope without a safety net below? A lion tamer unable to tame the circumstances around you? Maybe you feel like you are a freak show to the world?

Beyond the wonder and magic of the circus, there is a lot we can learn from what happens under the big top. The circus, in many ways, is a metaphor for life — it’s crazy, unexpected, filled with a wild range of emotions. Under the big top, you can go from laughing your head off to holding your breath in fear in just a matter of moments. As in life, the circus is filled with some odd characters, many of which have a great deal of knowledge to share if only we look a little closer. Let’s pull back the curtain on the big top and see what life lessons we can find amid the sawdust and the sparkles…

Be the ringmaster. It’s your life. 

If life is a circus, then you should certainly be the star in your own ring. The ringmaster controls the show. The ringmaster is the most visible performer. The ringmaster is in charge. You can’t control everything in life, but there are many things you have the power to direct. Don’t let someone else be the ringmaster in your life. Take the reins (or the whip, in this case!) and remind yourself that you have the power to be in charge of this crazy circus we call life.


You’re on a tightrope. Keep your balance.

Just like the walk across the wire is for a tightrope walker, our lives will be most successful if we find balance. Lean too far in one direction and you’ll find yourself toppling over. Balance is not always easy to master when juggling relationships and jobs and passions, but it’s essential for living a positive and present life. Imagine yourself on a tightrope and ask yourself, “Am I leaning too far in one direction?” Don’t let one area of your life — no matter how important it might seem — distract you from achieving balance.


Toss your hat in the ring. Get involved. 

Like a circus coming to town, our lives are brief but wonderful. Don’t waste your life sitting on the sidelines. Get involved with activities, hobbies, friends, jobs. Say “yes” more than you say “no.” Do the things that scare you. Push your boundaries. Take the challenge of living life to the fullest. Life is a circus that’s magical to watch, but even more wonderful to participate in. Don’t waste your life being a spectator. Throw down your inhibitions and throw your hat into the ring.


Set up a sturdy net. You will need back-up.

No matter how balanced you try to be, you’ll make mistakes. You’ll slip and fall. Nothing could be worse than a fall without a net so make sure you have a strong network of people to help you get back up on your feet. You don’t need a lot of people — a few will do the trick — but you do need people who will catch you when you fall, who will dust you off, and who will help you get back up on your feet. You won’t often need your safety net, but you’ll be thankful you have it when you start to lose your balance.


Clown around. Life’s too short to be serious.

Even if you’re a bit wary of clowns (there’s just something not right about a painted-on smile…), it’s hard not to appreciate their ability to make life a comedy. Life is much too short to spend your time being serious. Take a lesson from the circus clowns and make a joke, share a laugh, do something so silly and outrageous that you make yourself crack up. Seriousness has it’s time and place, but it’s the silliness you’ll remember most. So clown around. Laugh.

Life is very much like the world under the big top — filled with the unexpected, the exciting, and the terrifying. It’s a lot to take in, but if you look closely, beyond the curtain, beneath the glitter, you’ll see the wisdom that lies behind the wonder and the whimsy…



Written in response to The Daily Post Daily Prompt: Circus

Positive attracts positive!!



When we do things with honesty and from the heart, incredible things start happening in your life…you opened a whole new world of opportunities and instantly begin to attract likeminded individuals that are willing to help you in any possible way, positive attracts positive…surround yourself with people like this and let the universe guide your every move….

Have a Happy Day everyone!!



DEPRESSION, I will recover because I know I am stronger than this!


I wrote this a few years back after Robin Williams sadly too his life.  In light of a recent tragedy that has affected myself and many I know, and also after having a few of my friends coming to me in distress and asking for help this week. I thought I would post it here and again.


With the death of Robin Williams yesterday, it has had me thinking a lot about my own battle with depression. Then my niece wrote a post on her wall and I started to write a reply to it, which turned into this long post, which I decided to share with everyone. I hope by sharing my story it may help at least one person

Depression is no joke…… It ruined my life for a long time….. It was a huge reason of the breakup of my marriage. I was told many times, it was “in my head” and I am “just using it as an excuse”….. Even as he walked out the door he said this. But now I understand, people just did not know enough about it, we are not educated about it and that is what many learned, the doctors even told us that at one time “it’s all in your head” I hold no bitterness now that he didn’t push me to get help, I hold no bitterness for when he said “shake out of it” I hold no bitterness now for the day he walked out the door, because he did not know better, and he did not know how to deal with it, he could not let me and this disease pull him down also. He was not strong enough to fight the fight with me. Sadly it did pull my kids down. I cry often still, thinking about how it affected them. This horrible disease made me a shell of who I once was for a very long time. I would dig out of it long enough to make sure my kids were safe, fed and sheltered. Long enough to be sure their bare necessities taken care of. Then I would slip back into it again. I made a lot of mistakes I normally would not have made. I blamed myself for many years, beat myself up and told myself the same things my ex told me repeatedly…… what a horrible mother I was. I believed him deep down and hated myself for a long time for being such a bad mother. He even tried to prove it at the court ordered shrink he insisted on, which failed and may have been the beginning point of my crawl out of that dark hole. A psychiatrist said I was a great mom, recommended the kids stay with me! It was then I stopped believing that I was useless, horrible person I was constantly told I was. Which kept me depressed (not to mention bi polar on top of it) for even longer. It is an ugly cycle.

That Doctor helped me have a ray of hope, while it was still many years before I felt I had won the fight with depression, It slowly affected me less and less because I began to do things to help myself, and I began to love myself again. It was and still is one of the toughest battles I face (once your inflicted with it, it is very easy to relapse as I have many times in the past) I survived cancer and the chronic pain I was in from that, and to me that was a piece of cake compared to defeating depression. My entire universe began to cave in around me and I stopped sleeping, eating, cooking, hobbies – everything that I needed and enjoyed. I was confused and seemingly alone and scared for my life. Many people view depression as sadness or as a reaction to a traumatic event—that is a common misconception. Depression is not a straightforward response to a tragic situation. It can affect a 6-year-old just as easily as it can affect a 90-year-old. It just, sort of, happens. When I first began battling with this illness, I had no idea what was going on. I stopped writing, I stopped singing and I stopped loving myself and others. I had no idea what I was going through and I was scared that my life would always be like this. I often found myself asking why. Why do I feel this way? Why am I sad? What do I have to be sad about? I was mad at myself for feeling like this because I was so blessed to have so many amazing things in my life, amazing husband, kids, and family friends. So why was I sad? I didn’t understand that I was suffering from a mental illness and that none of this was my fault. It is very hard for someone who is depressed to ask for help, and when they do, they feel guilty for bothering others with their problems. Someone who is depressed might feel the need to put a smile on every morning.

Over the years, I’ve spent so much time crying in my bedroom in the middle of the night so no one would hear; answering every “How are you?” with a forced smile and a “I’m fine” because I was worried that I would be bothering someone if I ever told them the truth. For the longest time, I didn’t let anyone in because I was concerned that if they knew who I actually was, they wouldn’t want me anymore. (after all my husband didn’t, or that’s how I felt at the time) I learned a lot who my real friends were, they stuck around, they were not just there for the good times and when I could give them something like they were used to. When I couldn’t babysit anymore, or buy lunch, or go out for an expensive night out….. Slowly the friends started drifting away. When I needed the hand I used to extend to everyone they were gone.

When you’re falling apart, surround yourself with the people who will help put you back together. No one needs a friend who is only around for sunny skies; everyone needs a friend with which to wait out the storm.

When I had finally came to grips with my problem and wanted to find help, I did reach out to my ex and he told me this “Your depression is all in your head. It is not real. You were just being selfish. And if you refuse to admit that you were simply being selfish. Snap out of it” This validated my fear that people would be angry at me for feeling the way I did. Then I reached out again to one close friend. I was terrified of being that vulnerable. However, one afternoon I summoned the courage and told them what I was going through. When I told her, she got angry. She yelled at me for not getting help earlier, and she told me that I had no reason to be so sad. At first, I was broken. My worst fears were realized and the people I reached out to had reacted in the exact way I hoped they wouldn’t. I moved on, I distanced myself from that them and found a few friends that not only stood by my side, but helped me day after day, and that is the kind of friends everyone needs. Someone who will not only listen when you just need to talk, but will also give you your space when you need that as well.

I found an amazing boyfriend, who has pushed me harder than anyone I know, in the right direction, who sees me when I slip and holds his hand out to help me back up and doesn’t let me fall when I stumble. Who never gave up on me and saw my potentials.

The saddest people are the people who work so hard to make everyone else happy first. They hate to see other people in pain because they know what it feels like. I bent over backwards for everyone who asked for my help, and even those who didn’t ask. If I saw someone struggling, I would put aside my needs to satisfy theirs. I worked so hard to make other people happy that I let my own happiness slip through the cracks. But it wasn’t my job to save the world. As amazing as it was to help others and give your time to other people, if you’re not taking care of yourself, you will never be able to give people 100% of your help. Worry about yourself first, they will forgive you. I still suffer from this somewhat, but have learned to step back and attend to myself when needed.

Depression affects every morsel of your body, every fiber of your being. It is hard to get out of bed every morning and hard to motivate yourself to do anything. Depression does take over your entire life while you are suffering from it, but it also helps you to realize and change the aspects of your life that aren’t working. Suffering from your depression can open your eyes to things you would have never seen otherwise. It really helped me see the things and people I no longer wanted in my life. My depression helped me turn my life around. I am actually grateful my marriage fell apart now, because I didn’t have a choice I had to not fall into that dark hole for my kids…… I know I slipped a lot and was depressed a long time, but I held on for them, I kept enough wits about me for them, and eventually I made it. In an essence my kids saved my life more times than once, I also found out I had cancer when I found out I was pregnant the 2nd time.

And you are not selfish. You are not a freak. You are human and that is okay.

Even now, I have my days—more like my nights—where I feel completely and utterly alone, and I feel like there is no one out there who feels the same way as me. I am wrong. There are millions of people that feel the same way I do.

There is a huge stigma surrounding depression and suicide and a lot of people are afraid to talk about it, because a lot of people don’t understand it. Many people who have survived a hardship in their lives believe they know how it feels to be depressed and therefore they think they have the right to cast judgments on those who are actually suffering.

This mental illness is so easily brushed off that a lot of teens who suffer from it don’t know what to do to find help because no one will educate them. No one helped me, no one wanted to admit I was broken, most people thought I was just irresponsible, immature, selfish, lazy……. Which is ironic because I was the polar opposite of all those things before depression hit, why didn’t they see the sudden change and realize that wasn’t me? But I understand a lot now that I have educated myself on the subject and I have made it my goal to educate others as I can. People just didn’t know or didn’t want to see it, people have their blinders on, their rose colored glasses. I am here to tell you though, if you see someone with these patterns, don’t look the other way!

Find something/someone to hold onto and hold on as tight as you can. I understand that is much easier said than done, but it is possible. I found that in my boyfriend, I thank God for him every day, he is the most amazing and incredible man and helped me out of this and helps keep me out. It is perfectly fine to have bad days. It is perfectly fine to break down. But never, ever give up. I did, and I have never regretted anything more. As much as I hate the stereotype that suicide is selfish, it has some truth to it. When you’re in that dark place and you just want all of the pain to stop, all you can think of is your situation and how much better it would be for you if it all ended. It is selfish, but it is completely understandable. Trust me, I’ve been there.

I did try to take my life 15 years ago. The only thing I remember is that I was in so much pain and I knew how much better it would be if it just all ended. I swallowed a handful of pills…. Got rushed to the ER by ambulance, drank charcoal, got chewed out by the ex, and then sent home and chewed out again. It amazes me they sent me home….. It was obvious I swallowed pills, but while I was in the ambulance, they acted like they were doing me a favor and said “Tammy, you took too many on accident right?” “that’s what we write in the report right”? “You did not swallow them on purpose right?” So of course I said yes yes and yes. So instead of watching me for 72 hours, they write it off as a “accidental overdose” , swept it under the rug. I had just had my appendix burst a week before, so I just “oops” took too many pain pills…… I saw my kids when they got home and realized how stupid I was, how much I loved them. I swore to never do that again….I swore to get better for them. It took me years, but I did it, for them and myself. This is the best piece of advice I can give you. Find something worth living for. There is always something if you look hard enough.

“There is light at the end of the tunnel.” Every single time someone said this to me I hated it. I hated hearing that it would get better when I couldn’t see that it would. When you’re in that place where all you know is your depression and you don’t even remember not being depressed, hearing that it will get better is a slap in the face. But I am finally in a place where I can tell you that it DOES get better. I’m not a stable human being by any means, and I’m not through with my depression, but I am better.

If someone would have told me a few years ago that I would be doing this, speaking openly about my depression, I would have laughed in their face. You will make it through this, and you will come out stronger on the other side.

Don’t be mad at people when they don’t understand. The fact that they have tried to understand is commendable in itself. And chances are they don’t see you as ‘that person with depression’. They see you as you; depression and all. And it’s the ‘all’ that you have to try and focus on. Because depression doesn’t, and shouldn’t, define you. I mentioned some people above who at the time treated me not so good…… it was ignorance, lack of education on the subject, it was frustration and being hurt also from it. Depression effects everyone! The only reason I mention those incidences so honestly, is to share my story, to share what happens when people are not educated and have these misconception. Not to make these people look bad, they are good people, who didn’t understand. Depression does not just affect the individual it affects the whole family. I do not fault anyone who did not understand. But I will help educate more so others are not ignorant and this happens less and less. Please pass your knowledge along to others, take the knowledge you have and help someone. Please feel free to share this is you would like.



Another Post I did the same week, which are both related:



I have suffered from depression, I am not afraid to admit this. Since then, I have tried to help others who fight this battle also. sadly Robin lost his!! Lets prevent others from losing theirs!!

Creating motivation when feeling depressed can be one of the most difficult things a person can do. An episode of DEPRESSION can be physically and emotionally draining. The simplest of tasks seem to take maximum effort, and sometimes even beyond maximum. Some may feel lethargic. It may be tough make meals, or clean up at home, or take showers, or even get out of bed.

Navigating motivation when depressed can be tough because the instinct is to wait for the energy to return. People who are depressed often fall into the trap of trying to wait it out — that if you give in to the urge to stay in bed for a few days, that you’ll be re-energized and recharged, believing you’ll have exorcised the DEPRESSION demons by just “going with it”.

Unfortunately, it’s not usually as simple as this. If everybody tried to wait out their depressive episodes, some people would be in bed for 20 years, realizing somewhere along the way that depression actually tends to breed depression if it’s not actively confronted. That’s right, catering to our depressive urges actually reinforces them.

Obviously, actively doing anything doesn’t sound so desirable when feeling depressed, let alone confronting our depressive urges head-on. While it’s important to give depressive symptoms their attention and get to understand and learn about what’s underlying the depressive episode, the concept of “mind over matter” can help create motivation when depressed. I have seen evidence with many people that creating a change in mindset with small, manageable, behavioral steps can change a whole experience of depression. For some it’s brought their symptoms entirely into remission. This doesn’t replace taking the steps to learn more about what’s causing the episodes, but these steps can help us move on with our lives while we continue to work on the underlying issues.

Let’s look at some steps that can help break an episode or a cycle of depression.

1) Opposite Action – In Dialectical-Behavioral Therapy (an offshoot of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy), Opposite Action is the idea of forcing yourself to do something that you know is good for you, in order to prevent the reinforcement of a bad habit. For example, if you want to stay on the couch and watch tv all day, when realizing this only gives in to depression, opposite action would say to get up and go out, knowing it would be a healthier behavior. It’s very much a “just to the opposite of your unhealthy urge” technique. In CBT, the principle is that your behaviors can create positive changes in your emotions.

2) Set an Alarm – This isn’t only for getting out of bed. The alarm can be for anything that marks a SYMPTOM OF DEPRESSION. You might set an alarm to wake yourself up at a certain time to make sure you get out of bed in the morning; or you might set an alarm to signal a meal time if you’re missing meals, or signal time to do laundry, or run a particular set of errands, and so on. The alarm serves as a cue to draw your attention to a target area where you want to become more active in change.

3) Make Your Bed – Getting out of bed can be very tough with DEPRESSION. The first step to take is to sit up on the bed, put your feet on the floor, and visualize leaving all of your troubles and thoughts behind you in the bed. Then, get up and nicely make your bed, leaving the troubles behind for the day. Making the bed is essential in this process, as it signals to your brain that there isn’t an option to get back in the bed for the day. As you make your bed, it can also be helpful to imagine the troubles you’re left behind dissipating as the covers are pulled up.

4) Wash Up – The more routine-setting steps you’re able to add on after you make your bed, the better. Try washing your face and brushing your teeth to help wake you up. With these kind of steps you’re training your brain to understand that you’re getting ready for “something,” rather than simply a day laying around.

5) Get Dressed – This is a crucial step in separating from the bed to the day. Sitting around in pajamas on the couch is still possible, even if you escape the bedroom. Getting dressed decreases the urge to lounge, because again you’re reinforcing in your brain that you’re getting ready for something.

6) Go Outside – This can be one of the toughest steps for people who struggle with depression — actually leaving the house. One of the problems with this step is that people are easily held back by not having a place to go. “Okay, I can go outside…..but then what?” So for this step, the idea is to not have a place to go. The goal is going outside, not the particular place you go once you’re outside. Go outside, close the door behind you, and do whatever comes to mind — a walk around the block, down the street, pacing in front of your house, getting in your car and driving on an errand, and so on. It can be anything or nothing at all, but the goal is to spend at least ten minutes outside before going back in.

7) Choose One Exercise – Getting your body moving is a good way to start feeling better. Choose an exercise that works for you: walking, running, swimming, jump-roping, etc. Whatever you choose to do, make it a point to do it every day when you go outside. And if it’s an indoor exercise (like a treadmill), do it before you go outside.

8) Make a List of Activities – Brainstorm activities that you’d enjoy doing. Include things to do at home and out with people. Try to generate a list of things that includes others and that gives you some time to yourself. The activities can be a mix of productive (e.g. work-related) activities, and hobbies, and self-care.

9) Schedule Activities – Schedule the activities throughout the week. Try to plan out either one or two weeks ahead of time and actually write the activities into your calendar with specific days and times. Spread them out as much as possible and make sure to stick to the schedule.

10) Daily Necessity Schedule — This schedule is if you’re having trouble getting motivated to do your daily activities — such as eating, cooking, showering, or other household chores. For this, you’re creating a daily home schedule. Choose the specific times you’re going to do each activity every day. It can be as specific as you feel you need: time to get dressed, brush your teeth, start cooking, eating, showering, turning off the tv before bed, and so on. This is to help you get your daily necessities actually functioning on a daily basis.

11) See Family and Friends – This one is more about the people than the activity. Being around other people is often helpful for mood improvement. Schedule specific dates and times with friends and family, outside of the house. The more you can remove yourself from the environment of DEPRESSION (usually the home and bedroom), the better chance of overcoming it.

12) Psychotherapy – It’s important to keep in mind that the desire to stay inside and and lay around isn’t what causes depression — it is a symptom of depression. Psychotherapy remains a necessary step throughout the process of dealing with depression in order to prevent further episodes, reduce severity, and hopefully be rid of depression altogether. Even if we can resolve some of the motivational issues through pushing ourselves to take behavioral steps, the internal issues that are causing the depression still need to be addressed. Otherwise, when our motivation drops, the depression may return if we don’t have a handle on the underlying issues.

What’s most important to keep in mind is that you’re not going to feel like doing anything discussed above. If you’re going to wait to “feel like it”, then it may not happen. Using opposite action will be the necessary first step to conquering DEPRESSION — knowing in your mind that it will be good for you to take the steps to move forward, and just doing it. By also engaging in psychotherapy, you’re still able to give appropriate attention to what’s happening inside of you, including if medication therapy may (or may not) also be helpful. You do have the power to increase your motivation and to break out of depression. It may take some effort, but the opportunity is there for you to reclaim your life.



Please see and use the following info if you or someone you know needs help.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.




Puzzle Pieces


Imagine a giant puzzle formed of thousands of pieces of all shapes, color and forms but when put together they form the most beautiful image you have ever seen, by themselves each piece seems to have no meaning but together they become something greater than themselves…that is exactly how humanity looks. We all come from different walks of life, we are all different colors and shapes we all are here for a reason and to serve a purpose we all are interconnected and together we all could be like that beautiful picture from the puzzle…we are not here by chance we belong together and we are all part of something greater than ourselves…..

Be Blessed,